GIFTS OF SUITS FROM BRIDE’S FAMILY-STUPID CUSTOMS OF PUNJAB
At areas of subcontinent and especially at Punjab, receiving
of numerous gents and ladies suits, as gift at every occasion from women’s
family is such stupid and burdened custom that really looks like penalty to
parents with more daughters. There are arguments and laws about the quantity of
dowry at country which is given once in life to the daughters and used by her
as well but there is not a single voice on continuous torture to parents of
daughters for burdening them for gifts and to bear expenses at multiple occasions
at daughter’s in laws.
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| display of suits gifted to groom's family with tags |
I’m just going to tell you few of these when parents of daughters lug the other family with approx. worth RS 25000-RS 30,000 suits, off and on other than of other constrained expenses, in time of inflation. Above all in return they never get a penny or a gesture of thanks as these suits is not only taken as ritual but are proudly degraded open discussing of the stuff and prints of suits.
Shiza is one out of
four daughters and two brothers to her parents and she is ready to getting
married. Apart from dowry let’s have stupid suit package which she is going to
fix her parents for life;
1.
1. At time of Shiza’s engagement, parents of girl arrange suits for
sister in laws, brother in laws, their spouse, mother and father in law other than arranging the function and ring expenses.
1. At time of Shiza’s engagement, parents of girl arrange suits for
sister in laws, brother in laws, their spouse, mother and father in law other than arranging the function and ring expenses.
2. At time of Shiza’s wedding kids of upper described list of in laws and their parental uncles and aunts are also added other than dowry and reception expenses.
3. At next day of wedding, Shiza will stay night at her parent’s family
and will turn back with number of suits and gifts again. This stupid custom is called “Maklawa”. Stupid and weird custom, not for staying but burdening the parents for gifts who just have relaxed of daughter’s marriage expenses.
4. Right after 1 year, at birth of first child, Shiza’s parents again
have to meet the family with bulk of suits plus gold gift for new born for fulilling another weird custom of "CHUCHAK". Lets break…
Shiza’s other sister’s wedding is on head and her parents hardly have cut out budget to arrange these gifts. This stupid custom is called “
5. At time of Shiza’s daughters’ sister in law or brother in law’s wedding, parents of a daughter are obliged to bring suits to all family, for bride and groom and to all brood of their daughter. These all suits are displayed at centre of wedding hall so they again should be of high quality. It is the same time when Shiza’s third sister expecting baby and suits in a month.
6. Shiza’s mother in law or father in law died…then her parents will not only bear the expenses of lunch to all family but again will tow the suits with them. It’s the time when Shiza’s brother couldn’t manage fees of university by multiple financial attacks from her sisters flown to Dubai. Most of sweat in Dubai is dried out at cloth shops of subcontinent in following the stupid customs.
7. At time when Shiza’s first son/daughter is going married, her old parents can’t attend until they arrange bulk of suits and big share of expenses of wedding of grandchild. This enforced wired custom is famous as "
8. Last but not least at time and hell of stupid custom when Shiza is died after serving her husband, his parents and his kids for all life, her funeral is kept in wait that “coffin” is responsibility of Shiza’s parents and if they’re not alive at time then her brother will park by with Coffin otherwise the dead of Shiza would have to bear nasty comments about her parents family and can run to her children for long.
9. Wait, wait…suits gifted direct to daughter, her husband and to her
brood excluded of in laws at start of summer or winters, at occasion of Shab Rat, at time of brother’s wedding "(Bhdoghi)", birth of brother’s first baby are also part of torture and stupid package.
Let’s have flip side of situation, why not some girl try to
break the
taboo and forbade her parents to take any gifts or what happens when any parent couldn’t arrange or miss the suits at any of single occasion.
It is taken as massive insult from in laws of daughter. Mother in law
especially respond weird and latterly hysteric at sight (as it was the last suit on earth or she is unable to buy any by her own) and make hell daughter in laws’ life by passing nasty comments to her family. mostly direct rivalry erupts and sometimes bride is force to leave to her parents until she is returned loaded.
Direct outspoken abuse from sister in laws and comparison of gifts
which they arranged at the same occasion put enormous pressure on husbands.
The gloomy part of story is the role of husband or men of family
taboo and forbade her parents to take any gifts or what happens when any parent couldn’t arrange or miss the suits at any of single occasion.
It is taken as massive insult from in laws of daughter. Mother in law
especially respond weird and latterly hysteric at sight (as it was the last suit on earth or she is unable to buy any by her own) and make hell daughter in laws’ life by passing nasty comments to her family. mostly direct rivalry erupts and sometimes bride is force to leave to her parents until she is returned loaded.
Direct outspoken abuse from sister in laws and comparison of gifts
which they arranged at the same occasion put enormous pressure on husbands.
The gloomy part of story is the role of husband or men of family
which greedily receive all gifts for life and verbally torture and abuse
the wife just like his family when any of events is missed. Higher
class, middle class, lower class, educated or uneducated…no matter…you’ve to pay the penalty to bear the stupid customs if you’ve daughter in subcontinent.
class, middle class, lower class, educated or uneducated…no matter…you’ve to pay the penalty to bear the stupid customs if you’ve daughter in subcontinent.
I’m not against exchange of gifts or suits but it’s not
exchange but only one sided trouble. I’m
totally against the burden which only put to bride or woman’s family for
receiving the bulk of suits in name of gifts at fixed occasions.
This suit phobia has
stopped the thoughts of our women that most of income which could go to
education of kids or can be invested in some real state by little saving dumped
into suit phobia. It looked like any open and continuous robbery. Now I’ve an
idea why people get abort their daughters in India. Do they eat more? Do they
demand more? No, but there in laws demand more…more…and more.
These weird customs which are part of Pakistani society because of shadows of Hindu culture should be abandoned from the society.There should be strong resistance and men specially have to lower down their greed to relax their daughters in future. As we know about the things which were given to Hazrat Fatima as dowry but there is not a single reference where our prophet arranged gifts at birth of Hazrat Hassan and Hazrat Hussain. That’s why daughters are called “Rehmat” in Islam not “Zehmat”.
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