This is a true story of a young girl in my neighbour who attempted for suicide but failed. What were the triggers behind her suicide attempt, the role of people around her, her psychological pressures and an ultimate decision to commit suicide?
She had to stay unconscious in a very critical condition in a hospital and it took long to get her recovered after failed suicide attempt. Her body remained paralyzed. How she continued, fought and succeeded against the same circumstances and the same people after that? This is all, you're going to read here.
I first saw Marium when she came to my neighbour from a village after getting married to her 22 years old cousin at the age of 14 years. The family had 4 sons and one daughter. The boy was eldest and Marium married to him after breaking her engagement with the second one after announcing him unemployed and a failure. It was choice more of love here.
I was feeling sympathy for a teenage girl on getting married but it seemed opposite when I met her.
She was a heighted and a confident girl with a muscular body and it amazed me alot. She was happy with her wedding and she told that soon her husband will apply for a house (he was a soldier in Army) and she'll go with her on his posting station. She came to meet me with her mother-in-law, who didn't want an orphan niece of her husband as her daughter-in-law and was heart broken on rejection of her second son.
Marium talked about continuing her studies from grade 9 and her shopping goals in near future. She didn't bother to put verbal attack upon her mother-in-law as I told you above that she appeared to be a confident girl. Childish dreams, teenage excitement, and a fantasy of new relationship, there was a mixture of emotions. She thought to mould everyone around in her own way. Why it was so?
Marium's mother died at her birth and her father remarried in a short time. She was left with the family of her mother in a small village, where her mamu(uncle) and khalas(aunts) and grandmother (nano) brought her up. It was a big joint family with lower income options. All family members always tried to give her special attention being an orphan and it spoiled her personality. She was provided everything she wanted and this made her stubborn. When everyone around started to observe her mood swings, objection on her childhood engagement then her uncle (Mamu) get her married to his elder son before that she could go out of control on completion of studies. The life was not that easy anymore now.
In no time, she was told it's her responsibility to cook for all and cleaning the house as she is married now.Secondly, the family need an instant baby. Her uncle who was her father-in-law get her admitted in near school, but advised that she should behave and work like married women. She needs to obey her in laws.
Her dream broke the day when her husband told her that he can't afford a separate house and she has to stay with his parents when he's in another city on posting. She started to retaliate against such pressures and confronted her in laws many times.
Her mother-in-law continued to phoned her son and told him about the rude attitude and mismanagement of a girl. The neighbours daily watch curry or desserts thrown in a garden. Her mother in law threw those things telling everyone, how tasteless it was? She was stopped to give any pocket money as she spent that on unreasonable shopping in the early wedding days.
There abrupted an open quarrel as soon as her husband came on vacations. Facing all circumstances, a year passed, but neither she couldn't get pregnant nor she could concentrated on studies. One day she came to my house and requested to let her sit in the backyard for awhile. There after crying for sometime, she phoned to her nanu(grandmother) and asked for an aid.
Meanwhile her brother-in-law whom he rejected, got a job, married and proved to be very good husband. This frustrated her a lot and she openly regretted on her decision.
The family decided to send her back to village house, where she could continue her studies.
After two years, her mother-in-law told that Marium has asked for a seperate house or a divorce, but her in laws clearly told that neither she'll be released nor allow their son to take her with him. In this way, their income from the boy will cut down and effect the family expenditures.
On the other hand, her mother - in - law was happy that after divorce she'll marry his son to her sister's house.
Marium continued to insist for divorce when she passed matric and got admission in college. The in law family accused her of being in friendship with other guys on facebook and having extra marital affairs. Marium was just 17 now.
One day, her mother-in-law told frustrated that Marium has swallowed poisonous tablets in the village house and she is in a critical condition.
The family rushed towads town and brought her to main hospital of city.
OMG, poison was badly mixed up in her blood and she was faint and blue.
She had to go through painful treatment to take poison out of her body and it took three days. According to neighbours, who went to see her told that her body was put covered with ice blocks as her body seemed to burn. The poison put fatal effect on her tissues, brain, legs and kidneys. She hardly opened her eyes on 5th day but her legs were paralyzed to move.
The doctors told to continue treatment until all poison is out. After 15 days, she was again among the people whom she hated most. She had to rely on them for washroom, for movement and for feeding. Her in-laws had to take care of her and also husband applied for loan from his office and spent on her treatment to avoid police case as police reched their home as soon as the suicide case reported.
Marium remained on wheelchair for three months and the same family she wanted to get rid of, had to see her. After months, she was a weak, dark and disappointed girl.
'God also don't accept me,' she cried.
After regaining some strength she again asked for separate house or divorce. The request was denied without any regret again. Instead, her in- laws family arranged a "panchait" meeting in her village with religious and social representatives and all advised her to ask for forgiveness for her sin. She was forced to live in peace with her husband and in-laws family.
They all told her the hell, she could face if she died in suicide attempt. Marium tried to explain them all about her problems but no one listened.
'Should I attempt suicide again?' she felt pain in her body.
One night, the neighbours saw a big police van accompanying a big car outside house. Two modern looking women came outside and entered straight in the house. The police entered afterwards. After a while, Marium appeared out with those women and left.
Marium got an NGO number from Google and asked them for help. The women were from that NGO. Marium was sent to village to stay with her grandmother on her request and NGO helped her to process her divorce.
At last she was released.
Now, Marium has done her graduation and doing job in a private school.
"The poison still floats in my body and I feel its perks in my daily routine. This poison will go with me till my death. I also did mistakes but I didn't had parents' shoulder to cry on. I was too young to cope with too much pressures and to face people's double faces. I just felt that this time will never end. Even then,
I shouldn't do this...no body should go for suicide, but I'm content that my Allah saved me and gave me second life. I've learnt that people never feel sympathy for you, not they can feel your pains. It's only you, who have to do this. People stand you then. Life always has options, only you've to look for them to get out of your trouble. Now I'm living my life among the same faces but no one dares to accuse me for anything. It takes time but things change, yes, they change, "
a composed and thoughtful Marium told me when she called me to ask for a University admission.
The family in the neighbor remarried their son and told that girl has to stay with in-laws. The woman couldn't bring her niece, but again the girl was from husband's family.
She had to stay unconscious in a very critical condition in a hospital and it took long to get her recovered after failed suicide attempt. Her body remained paralyzed. How she continued, fought and succeeded against the same circumstances and the same people after that? This is all, you're going to read here.
I first saw Marium when she came to my neighbour from a village after getting married to her 22 years old cousin at the age of 14 years. The family had 4 sons and one daughter. The boy was eldest and Marium married to him after breaking her engagement with the second one after announcing him unemployed and a failure. It was choice more of love here.
I was feeling sympathy for a teenage girl on getting married but it seemed opposite when I met her.
She was a heighted and a confident girl with a muscular body and it amazed me alot. She was happy with her wedding and she told that soon her husband will apply for a house (he was a soldier in Army) and she'll go with her on his posting station. She came to meet me with her mother-in-law, who didn't want an orphan niece of her husband as her daughter-in-law and was heart broken on rejection of her second son.
Marium talked about continuing her studies from grade 9 and her shopping goals in near future. She didn't bother to put verbal attack upon her mother-in-law as I told you above that she appeared to be a confident girl. Childish dreams, teenage excitement, and a fantasy of new relationship, there was a mixture of emotions. She thought to mould everyone around in her own way. Why it was so?
Marium's mother died at her birth and her father remarried in a short time. She was left with the family of her mother in a small village, where her mamu(uncle) and khalas(aunts) and grandmother (nano) brought her up. It was a big joint family with lower income options. All family members always tried to give her special attention being an orphan and it spoiled her personality. She was provided everything she wanted and this made her stubborn. When everyone around started to observe her mood swings, objection on her childhood engagement then her uncle (Mamu) get her married to his elder son before that she could go out of control on completion of studies. The life was not that easy anymore now.
In no time, she was told it's her responsibility to cook for all and cleaning the house as she is married now.Secondly, the family need an instant baby. Her uncle who was her father-in-law get her admitted in near school, but advised that she should behave and work like married women. She needs to obey her in laws.
Her dream broke the day when her husband told her that he can't afford a separate house and she has to stay with his parents when he's in another city on posting. She started to retaliate against such pressures and confronted her in laws many times.
Her mother-in-law continued to phoned her son and told him about the rude attitude and mismanagement of a girl. The neighbours daily watch curry or desserts thrown in a garden. Her mother in law threw those things telling everyone, how tasteless it was? She was stopped to give any pocket money as she spent that on unreasonable shopping in the early wedding days.
There abrupted an open quarrel as soon as her husband came on vacations. Facing all circumstances, a year passed, but neither she couldn't get pregnant nor she could concentrated on studies. One day she came to my house and requested to let her sit in the backyard for awhile. There after crying for sometime, she phoned to her nanu(grandmother) and asked for an aid.
Meanwhile her brother-in-law whom he rejected, got a job, married and proved to be very good husband. This frustrated her a lot and she openly regretted on her decision.
The family decided to send her back to village house, where she could continue her studies.
After two years, her mother-in-law told that Marium has asked for a seperate house or a divorce, but her in laws clearly told that neither she'll be released nor allow their son to take her with him. In this way, their income from the boy will cut down and effect the family expenditures.
On the other hand, her mother - in - law was happy that after divorce she'll marry his son to her sister's house.
Marium continued to insist for divorce when she passed matric and got admission in college. The in law family accused her of being in friendship with other guys on facebook and having extra marital affairs. Marium was just 17 now.
One day, her mother-in-law told frustrated that Marium has swallowed poisonous tablets in the village house and she is in a critical condition.
The family rushed towads town and brought her to main hospital of city.
OMG, poison was badly mixed up in her blood and she was faint and blue.
She had to go through painful treatment to take poison out of her body and it took three days. According to neighbours, who went to see her told that her body was put covered with ice blocks as her body seemed to burn. The poison put fatal effect on her tissues, brain, legs and kidneys. She hardly opened her eyes on 5th day but her legs were paralyzed to move.
The doctors told to continue treatment until all poison is out. After 15 days, she was again among the people whom she hated most. She had to rely on them for washroom, for movement and for feeding. Her in-laws had to take care of her and also husband applied for loan from his office and spent on her treatment to avoid police case as police reched their home as soon as the suicide case reported.
Marium remained on wheelchair for three months and the same family she wanted to get rid of, had to see her. After months, she was a weak, dark and disappointed girl.
'God also don't accept me,' she cried.
After regaining some strength she again asked for separate house or divorce. The request was denied without any regret again. Instead, her in- laws family arranged a "panchait" meeting in her village with religious and social representatives and all advised her to ask for forgiveness for her sin. She was forced to live in peace with her husband and in-laws family.
They all told her the hell, she could face if she died in suicide attempt. Marium tried to explain them all about her problems but no one listened.
'Should I attempt suicide again?' she felt pain in her body.
One night, the neighbours saw a big police van accompanying a big car outside house. Two modern looking women came outside and entered straight in the house. The police entered afterwards. After a while, Marium appeared out with those women and left.
Marium got an NGO number from Google and asked them for help. The women were from that NGO. Marium was sent to village to stay with her grandmother on her request and NGO helped her to process her divorce.
At last she was released.
Now, Marium has done her graduation and doing job in a private school.
"The poison still floats in my body and I feel its perks in my daily routine. This poison will go with me till my death. I also did mistakes but I didn't had parents' shoulder to cry on. I was too young to cope with too much pressures and to face people's double faces. I just felt that this time will never end. Even then,
I shouldn't do this...no body should go for suicide, but I'm content that my Allah saved me and gave me second life. I've learnt that people never feel sympathy for you, not they can feel your pains. It's only you, who have to do this. People stand you then. Life always has options, only you've to look for them to get out of your trouble. Now I'm living my life among the same faces but no one dares to accuse me for anything. It takes time but things change, yes, they change, "
a composed and thoughtful Marium told me when she called me to ask for a University admission.
The family in the neighbor remarried their son and told that girl has to stay with in-laws. The woman couldn't bring her niece, but again the girl was from husband's family.