Pakistan is a country where women are raised with religious and social limits. They locate marriage as a contract of security, independence, and sexual companionship as their ultimate goal since childhood. Arranged marriages are more popular here, which solely are decided by parents at a certain age of their daughters. If at one side child and forced marriages are part of rural areas, then on the other side parents prefer to wait till the completion of educational degrees of their daughters before looking for any compatible proposal and this hunt for “compatible proposal” sometimes lead the single girls to frustrated and depressed state of mind if for any reason the marriage is delayed.
Unfortunately, the number of single or unmarried women in Pakistan has risen to 30% in recent years. Following the worldwide trend, the women here also are more educated, stable and financially independent than men in urban areas and this is the main reason when girls themselves or their parents continue to deny any available proposals in wait of better and the girls leave their 30 years somewhere behind the curtains or under the blankets sobbing and praying to get married. Above all, folks are open to discuss the married women depression, concerns about their mental and physical health but no one want to utter a word against depression, an unmarried woman has to suffer in Pakistan. Like popular third world trend, victims are accused of their situation here again.
The mothers blessed with well-groomed sons also looked down and reject many girls for not fulfilling their mounted criterion is another reason for the rising number of unmarried women in Pakistan. If at one side few girls are not getting married for not having sufficient dowry then on other side many girls are overloaded with all stuff to qualify as a bride but groom seems to be out of stock.
The kind of psychological pressures and depression an unmarried woman has to face as single are:
1. Absence of companionship when all friends and colleagues get married and having babies
2. A feeling of being low when all siblings are settled in their lives
3. A continuous struggle against your intimate hormones as single as being Muslim, a marriage can only allow you to satisfy your sexual needs.
4. Insecurity for future when parents will not be there to support you
5. Feeling of anger and aggravation when friends/family remarks about your constrained singlehood.
6. Strong crook thoughts towards negativity or sinful life.
Above are a few challenges which single/unmarried girls have to face by living in a communal society. As most of these challenges become hassle and unbearable as days and nights continue to pass barren and alone. The real problem is to cope up with your depression of not getting married and how to continue your life productive.
CLICK TO KNOW: A HONEYMOON AT FORBIDDEN CITY, CHINA
Miss Uzma, is a 38 years old unmarried lady who works in a multinational company at a key position. She told her story, ‘I was a beautiful young and educated girl at my early 20’s when my mother paid to many matchmakers for my rishta (proposal). To my fate, the big headed ladies with sons approached our house, feasted with snacks and gone with the wind. This throbbing period continued for many years that my parents bent to my younger siblings and left my fate on right times which never approach me. As soon as my brothers got married and their wives took the charge of the house, I started to honk as single,’ she hardly smiled and continued, ‘After struggling against my wedding longing for years, I shifted my focus from marriage and started to save for my future. I bought a flat on installments in society last year. I can’t say that I don’t have a desire of getting married now but now I don’t feel insecure or alone for my future like before.’
Miss Bushra Salman, is a 30 years old, government school teacher. She narrated her story, ‘I got engaged twice and both couldn’t meet to a happy ending. I spent many years fighting against my depression after gazing at my friends and siblings blessed with married lives, even if I find them struggling and brawling with their relationship.
I overcome my desire for intimacy from someone and having a child by linking me strongly to almighty Allah. He is my true companion and I keep myself in praying regularly. I took admission in many courses and started to improve my qualification. Asides I've got a lot of books which are my companions and I find gratification and cheerful among my books till the time when I may find my real soulmate.’
So the best way to overcome the depression of being single is to shift a focus from each second painful longing of marriage to
CLICK TO READ: UNTOLD LOVE STORIES FROM HISTORY AT MUGHAL FORTS
somewhere productive according to your circumstances and not to waste your dynamic young days in wait for any rishta (proposal). Look around the world is full of diversity and multiple options to embrace you there and have faith that your time will also come one day. May nature craves something remarkable from you till then?
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Unfortunately, the number of single or unmarried women in Pakistan has risen to 30% in recent years. Following the worldwide trend, the women here also are more educated, stable and financially independent than men in urban areas and this is the main reason when girls themselves or their parents continue to deny any available proposals in wait of better and the girls leave their 30 years somewhere behind the curtains or under the blankets sobbing and praying to get married. Above all, folks are open to discuss the married women depression, concerns about their mental and physical health but no one want to utter a word against depression, an unmarried woman has to suffer in Pakistan. Like popular third world trend, victims are accused of their situation here again.
The mothers blessed with well-groomed sons also looked down and reject many girls for not fulfilling their mounted criterion is another reason for the rising number of unmarried women in Pakistan. If at one side few girls are not getting married for not having sufficient dowry then on other side many girls are overloaded with all stuff to qualify as a bride but groom seems to be out of stock.
The kind of psychological pressures and depression an unmarried woman has to face as single are:
1. Absence of companionship when all friends and colleagues get married and having babies
2. A feeling of being low when all siblings are settled in their lives
3. A continuous struggle against your intimate hormones as single as being Muslim, a marriage can only allow you to satisfy your sexual needs.
4. Insecurity for future when parents will not be there to support you
5. Feeling of anger and aggravation when friends/family remarks about your constrained singlehood.
6. Strong crook thoughts towards negativity or sinful life.
Above are a few challenges which single/unmarried girls have to face by living in a communal society. As most of these challenges become hassle and unbearable as days and nights continue to pass barren and alone. The real problem is to cope up with your depression of not getting married and how to continue your life productive.
CLICK TO KNOW: A HONEYMOON AT FORBIDDEN CITY, CHINA
Miss Uzma, is a 38 years old unmarried lady who works in a multinational company at a key position. She told her story, ‘I was a beautiful young and educated girl at my early 20’s when my mother paid to many matchmakers for my rishta (proposal). To my fate, the big headed ladies with sons approached our house, feasted with snacks and gone with the wind. This throbbing period continued for many years that my parents bent to my younger siblings and left my fate on right times which never approach me. As soon as my brothers got married and their wives took the charge of the house, I started to honk as single,’ she hardly smiled and continued, ‘After struggling against my wedding longing for years, I shifted my focus from marriage and started to save for my future. I bought a flat on installments in society last year. I can’t say that I don’t have a desire of getting married now but now I don’t feel insecure or alone for my future like before.’
Miss Bushra Salman, is a 30 years old, government school teacher. She narrated her story, ‘I got engaged twice and both couldn’t meet to a happy ending. I spent many years fighting against my depression after gazing at my friends and siblings blessed with married lives, even if I find them struggling and brawling with their relationship.
I overcome my desire for intimacy from someone and having a child by linking me strongly to almighty Allah. He is my true companion and I keep myself in praying regularly. I took admission in many courses and started to improve my qualification. Asides I've got a lot of books which are my companions and I find gratification and cheerful among my books till the time when I may find my real soulmate.’
So the best way to overcome the depression of being single is to shift a focus from each second painful longing of marriage to
CLICK TO READ: UNTOLD LOVE STORIES FROM HISTORY AT MUGHAL FORTS
somewhere productive according to your circumstances and not to waste your dynamic young days in wait for any rishta (proposal). Look around the world is full of diversity and multiple options to embrace you there and have faith that your time will also come one day. May nature craves something remarkable from you till then?
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