UNHAPPY HUSBANDS OF ASIAN COUNTRIES
It is a general observation in many Asian countries that husbands remain unhappy and harsh, and don't mind verbally abusing their wives all time. Even unhappy husbands complain about it in family gatherings.
Unfortunately, this type of attitude is a normal practice in all income groups with any education status in countries like Pakistan, India, Sri Lanka, and Bangladesh.
We observe many educated women, who used to manage all house chores, raising kids with effort but at the end of the day, their unhappy husbands return home with dissatisfied or even angry expressions on them.
Most wives expressed that most of the time they even don't guess where the problem is? What have done wrong that the husbands are a moron?
They keep on guessing the things and start blaming random relatives in frustration.
The husbands don't care to discuss or ask any issues with wives and things got worse with time.
There are many reasons that wives don't get due respect and importance in Asian countries especially in the early years of marriage. Here are a few reasons why Asian husbands are unhappy and harsh on wives:
- Parents are dependent on Asian husbands
Many Asian countries like Pakistan, India & Bangladesh are developing one and most of the parents rely on their sons to earn their living in older age. The sons have to put large shares for sibling's marriages too. In case, if the sons try to overlook their parents' responsibility then it is taken unethical in society. To curtail the pressure of dependence of more people on income, husbands find it more convenient to snub wives along with their demands. They pass humiliating remarks for wives or even for the family of their wives if they demand money or accessories from them. They sometimes force the wife to take things from her parents in the name of different customs. The harshness becomes part of their attitude even the circumstances get better.
- Joint family system
The joint family system is a widely practiced system in Asian countries. The wives are responsible to take care and look after all family members like the husband's parents and siblings etc. Why husbands remain unsatisfied with their wives in Asian countries is that they are told that their wives don't take care of their parents and siblings in their absence.
It is generally perceived idea in Asian marriages that the wife will not only take over all house chores but service her in-laws selflessly. It doesn't care if the wife is a working woman or a housewife but she has to fulfill the needs of every person there. Most of the time, husbands are told day and night that their wife is not respecting their parents and she is going awry to complete her tasks. Interestingly, many Asian husbands listen to their mom's tongue and most of the time blame the wife in the first place. In return, many wives come out with arguments and a regular quarrel becomes a practice in marriage.
On speculating that they have failed to grab due respect for their family, husbands start cradling grudges against wife which ultimately come out as angry faces and unhappy expressions.
- Unhappy wives are more attached to kids in Asia
With time, Asian wives find security and happiness around their children. They think their kids are ones who listen and respect them, so they start maintaining a distance from husbands. The wives keep themselves busy in kids' work to avoid any argument with husbands. They start treating husbands like any regular house job. Whereas Asian husbands want their wives around 24/7 and not finding satisfactory companionship, they start showing mood swings and become harsh on wives.
- Conventional thinking
It's not that Asian husbands don't love their wives or take care of their feelings but they get more afraid of traditional thinking jabs and taunts from society. A husband who listens to his wife and tries to comfort her in house chores is called Zan mureed means wife's slave etc. Most of the the the husbands show themselves unhappy and harsh on wives in public just to avoid these types of tags on them.
- Male chauvinism
Male is considered as an authority in Asian countries and this thinking is pasted in their minds since childhood. A boy is raised in a way in Asian countries that he turns up as a controlling and dominating husband. He had observed his father controlling his mother and now he wants to control his wife irrespective of fact that she is more educated and aware than his mother. He, by all means, attempts to control his wife's routine, meetings, and decisions. An endless feat to control his wife makes Asian husbands frustrated, unhappy and harsh and they feel satisfied to scold them in public and in family gatherings.
- Religious mindset
Unfortunately, religion gives due rights to women and wives but it is commonly observed that the people who have a strong religious mindset are harsher on wives. They want their wives to abide by all religious obligations all the time and react furious in any minor ignorance from them.
- Envious feelings
Asian husbands mostly don't like to see their wives more successful than them. If a wife is intelligent and making marks in any professional field then-husband trap into envious feelings. They start making fun of the wife's profession and their capabilities in gatherings. An inferiority complex changes the happy and content husbands into jealous and unhappy man.
Many Asian wives who are reading this article will relate to all or some of the above points. It doesn't mean that all Asian husbands are unhappy harsh, but there is a large proportion of men who dominate the wives but still remain unhappy.
The family system is very strong in Asian countries and the divorce rate is low. Husbands are the authority of the house The responsibility to drag the marital relationship is put on females
Most of the countries in Asia are developing ones with low-income brackets. parents