DO I HAVE STUBBORN CHILD? Effective ways to deal with stubborn children
Children born in the same family under the same surroundings show varied attitudes. Some children have composed and understandable personalities and don’t raise fuss most often. Some react furiously on every issue and behave stubbornly. A stubborn child is a tough test for parents and they should think about it seriously from the early age of the child.
Avoid eating meals in time, retaliate in
taking bath, demand to wear the same dress again and again, cry for extra time on
mobile to play video games, or argue on daily house chores do not prove your
child a stubborn one. These are normal behavior modes of any child that
parents most often deal successfully and this type of stubborn attitude faded
away with time. Things require considerable notice when children's response to
minor issues goes furious and stubborn with time. Below are a few signs that
you have a stubborn child and you need to work on it:
- A child doesn’t want to share things with siblings and throw it away if someone attempts to use his/her things.
- A stubborn child clearly told you about his/her likings and disliking and don’t compromise on it even you beat him/her.
- A stubborn child will never accept or even respond to otoany kind of abuse whether it’s verbal or physical from parents or anyone else.
- A stubborn child is most often not happy with family and friends. He/she always has a bucket full of complaints against them.
- A stubborn child doesn’t feel sympathy about the people around him and always tries to make things according to his plans. For example, a stubborn child will eat all grapes or finish pizza before his siblings approach there to share any.
- A stubborn child has mood swings. At one time, he is happy, loving, and supporting and the next second, he shuts himself in the room for long.
- The stubborn children have problems making friends in school.
- A stubborn child has the courage to say or react to things that others avoid disclosing.
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A stubborn child also has a positive point that he/she takes stand for parents and siblings if he/she feels any injustice against them.
The quality of being stubborn may be genetic or acquired by their surroundings. Sometimes the pressures of work and housework hold up parents’ peace of mind. In such a situation, most of the parents are under pressure and tell their children some things that they should not do at all. Parents consider these things as normal things but in reality, these things have a negative effect on the children.
In any case, parents need a lot of patience and effort to deal with stubborn children. Stubborn child’s energy can be used in a positive way with proper strategy and thinking.
Here are a few effective ways that can help you to deal with a stubborn child:
NEVER APPRECIATE STUBBORN BEHAVIOUR OF A CHILD
It’s a common observation in many families that when a child throws a spoon away on the dinner table or cry until the time, he/she gets his favorite toy, the members of the family take this attitude with appreciation notes, like; Don’t say him anything, he is stubborn like his valor grandfather or she is very stubborn and smart that she knows to make her demands. With time, the child adopts the behavior strongly and stubbornness turns into disrespecting the parents and family members. Now parents become worried and try to teach discipline to their child which doesn’t work most often then.
NEVER DISCUSS YOUR CHILD’S STUBBORN BEHAVIOR IN FAMILY
Sometimes
parents discuss or let others discuss their stubborn child in family
gatherings. Even family friends start to
talk about a child’s stubbornness in different ways. Gradually, stubbornness
becomes the trademark of your child and everyone starts responding to him/her in
a conscious way. Some people mock at the stubborn child or try to discipline
him/her with their smart tips. These types of behaviors disturb the child as no
one wants to come in bad books. They also start thinking about their behavior but
find no help if they try to change it. This increase retaliation and disrespect
for parents. So never discuss your child’s stubborn behaviors in family and not
let others do so.
STAY FIRM WITH YOUR “NO”
Of course,
we love our children and never want to see them cry. We do a lot of hard work
to make our children’s living happy but showing weakness against their demand makes them stubborn.
If you had
said NO for something, then it should mean NO. Let them cry for a while will in
fact help them to bear rejection in practical life. Children pick weak
behaviors very quickly and learn to blackmail or pressure parents to meet their
demands and they try to implement the same behavior outside too.
NEVER FAVOR STUBBORN CHILD ON OTHER SIBLINGS
A father was
in the market with his three kids for back to school shopping. He selected
stationery items for kids which were in the normal price range. The two kids seemed
content but her middle daughter replaced a few items with expensive ones and
insisted to take that. The father was reluctant to start and tried to explain
to the girl. ‘You guys know she’s very stubborn and will not give up,’ at last
father explained to other kids and bought her demands. The siblings also
understood, but the father didn’t realize that life is equally tough for all
children. Her daughter won’t get favor
all the time and this will build aggravation in her. So try to deal with every child
equally and don’t unnecessarily favor one child to timely satisfy her annoyance
and insolence attitude. A stubborn child should teach and encourage to share things with siblings instead of telling the siblings to understand him/her.
TRY TO SETTLE THE DISTURBING SURROUNDING
Most of the
time children become stubborn under disturbing surroundings. Maybe they don’t
like some uncle and aunt visiting their house most often. Children may be
suffering from any abusive behavior from any family member. Parents most often
know the triggers behind the annoyance of their stubborn children but avoid
discussing them because of family pressure. Parents should work to settle or
change the disturbing environment which is causing frustration in the child.
Don’t stop them from crying
Most parents prevent their children
from crying or even order them to “stop crying’ when they are upset or sad
for some reason - but in doing so they try to suppress your feelings at the
time, and thus the child also thinks that I have lost my feelings. But this
process can be very dangerous for the life to come - so if it feels good to
cry, let them cry for a while.